I feel like a bit of a prick.. my boyfriend Dom is doing a PhD which obviously takes up a lot of time and thought… today I kind of rolled my eyes when he wanted us to hurry at a Saturday brunch out in town so that he could get back and work (… or not…).
I selfishly want him to relax -for his sake as well as mine- but I know that’s not very possible whilst doing a PhD in bioinformatics. I didn’t mean it nasty like, I was just annoyed that my easy going Saturday was not so easy going, and it never is, due to bioinformatics! I wasn’t having a go, I get it. I was just frustrated.
We got back from our brunch followed by a trip to the supermarket, only for him to have a phone call with his friend for hours and hours, then dinner etc. while I made myself scarce and went to the pub (admittedly to try and do some work of my own- which I failed to do! So I know how hard it is!) but when I returned, at past 10pm, he seemed to still be preoccupied by other things online and then whenever I want a little bit of conversation or attention he “can’t” because he’s trying to work.
I can’t wait until he has finished this PhD! But in another way I think he will be lost without academia. I want him to be free of the pressures but how will he survive a job that demands times etc. I know he can, has, and will; but not while I’ve known him, and from what I’ve gathered, all of that stuff makes him really unhappy.
I don’t know if I’ll still have a job come November, I text my line manager this evening with my concerns. He’s a good guy, I’m sure he’ll figure something out for me. We’re gonna talk more on Monday.
At the moment everything is a bit uncertain, and I hate it. I like to know what I’m doing so that I can prepare for and dread it accordingly. limbo is shit.