I applied for a job at Birmingham City Uni a few weeks back. I got an email last Thursday saying I was unsuccessful in making the shortlist for interview, and I still haven’t quite gotten over it yet, I don’t think. I put so much effort into that application, and I was pretty sure I was ticking all the boxes. Granted – it was a bit of a step up… the salary was ten grand more than I’m on now, however, I was still hopeful and in a way quietly confident that I’d at least get an interview. Serves me right I guess. Everyone kept telling me not to put all my eggs in one basket.
I tend to do this, convince myself that the best possible outcome will miraculously happen and I live happily ever after. News flash – not how life works. If anyone should know this it should be me; what with being bullied as a kid, being part of my Dad’s sideline secret family, not to mention the numerous mental breakdowns.
I feel like a bit of a shit for this reaction I’m having. It’s like I’m kind of depressed about it, like I said – in my head that was my ticket out of my current job and I had already packed! Now I’m left to remain where I have been for the past two years, no exciting new corners to turn, or fresh starts to be had, no pay rises, and new people to meet.. just continue trudging along the same old muddy path, until November where the contracts end and I don’t know what I’ll do…..